DO NOT BE AFRAID OF LOSING LOVE!

by Jo Lawrence-Mills


 

"Promise you'll never leave me.
Say you'll always feel this way.
Say I'm the only one.
Tell me you only have eyes
for me."

This is not presence, but addiction.
This is a baby longing for mother. 
This is helplessness and dependency. 
A dependency that was real when you were young.
(Without mother, you'd be dead; it was a good addiction).

But now you are grown, you are no longer dependent.
Your aloneness is no longer dangerous
(even if it feels dangerous). 
And you are not incomplete without mother,
without a partner, a soul mate, another 'half'
(even if you feel incomplete).

You are whole and complete because you exist.
Because you breathe. Because you feel what you feel.

Nobody can promise they will never leave you.
Nobody can promise they'll always want you near.
Nobody knows the future. And we change. And we heal.
And we grow. And we become more self-aware.
And presence is the only certainty here.

Presence is what we long for.
Yet presence is not outside of us.

And so we break the addiction by discovering presence.
Not 'another' presence, but our own.
We break the dependency by coming closer to ourselves.
Feeling our feet on the ground.
Feeling the belly rising and falling.
Breathing into our pleasure and our pain.
Owning ourselves at last.

The only thing
that will never leave you,
is you.

You, never seeking love, but being it, 
radiating it from your very core, 
like the Earth, and gravity
pulling everything
into your wide open arms.

Do not be afraid of being alone.
Do not be afraid of 'losing love'.
(You cannot lose love). 
You are always held, even as your heart breaks.

The truth is, you don't need another person for your happiness. 
And so you can love others instead of clinging to them
out of habit, or out of fear, or out of shame,
or because you are still
unconsciously seeking mother:

"Promise you'll never leave me.
Say you'll always feel this way.
Say I'm the only one.
Tell me you only have eyes
for me."

- Jeff Foster